Susan Heyboer O'Keefe 
The official, homemade, always out-of-date Web site...
          
     
Evil Clowns
(because there's just no other kind)
and why smart people are afraid of them


Coulrophobia
has been floating around the Internet for some years
as the term for a fear of clowns—like arachnophobia for a fear of spiders, or pogonophobia for a fear of bearded men. (Are you listening, Dr. Freud? Is there a term for bearded clowns?)

Clownophobia would be more direct but it’s just too…clownish…to fully embrace the dark depths of this emotion.

I don’t like clowns. They’re scary. They’re mean. They have evil secret agendas. And pocket option that's when they're on their best behavior.

I repeat: I don't like clowns.

Whenever I bravely proclaimed my fear and hatred of clowns, other people would gasp, “YES!” They were relieved to have found someone who actually understood them—and who was willing to brave the scorn of society to admit it. When you know there’s a kindred soul waiting for you, it’s easier to come out of the clown closet, so to speak.


Fear of clowns is neither silly nor childish. It’s common sense. If you doubt me, I advise you to watch a powerful documentary on the subject, written, directed, and produced by the Chiodo Brothers: Killer Klowns from Outer Space.

I was triumphantly vindicated by the University of Sheffield in England. They were studying how to make children’s hospital wards more cheerful.

What’s an obviously cheery figure? I mean, cheerier than Santa? Even cheerier than the Pillsbury Doughboy?

A clown! Of course!

Fortunately, the University had the enormous wisdom of first conducting a poll. They asked 250 patients, ages four to sixteen pocket options . 100 percent of them disliked clowns. This included the teenagers!

250 people. 100 percent.

When was the last time you got four people to agree on a pizza topping?

One of my favorite T-shirts was inspired by the Simpsons’ scary clown-bed episode, where Bart huddles in a corner, rocking back and forth, muttering:

Can’t sleep … Clowns will eat me.
Can’t sleep … Clowns will eat me.
Can’t sleep … Clowns will eat me.

If you understand that shirt, you’re one of us.

A Good Link:

I Hate Clowns. This anti-clown community is twelve years old. There are personal stories from the site's creator and from members. There are games like "Clown Pong," free stuff like an "I Hate Clowns" sticker and screensavers, and a store where you can not only declare your hatred proudly, you can also look chic at the same time—if you fit into one of the cute baby-doll T-shirts…which I don’t. But they do have T- and sweat shirts in larger sizes that proudly declare the same message.

I really don't care about not fitting into a baby-doll T-shirt. Really. I mean, who wants all that skin exposed and vulnerable, after all. You never know what's creeping up behind you.

A Bad Link:

Pictures of Evil Clowns. This is what you get if you go to Google images, click on the advanced search button trading demo senza registrazione , type in evil clowns, and use the safe search, strict filter:

The SAFE search! The STRICT safe search!

Would you hire any of these guys for your kid's birthday party?

I rest my case. 

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